Monday, August 9, 2010


I am a loner.
I just am.
Usually I'm fine with it.
But sometimes
I get lonely.
And sometimes
I want help.
Help I can't get on my own.
I only have about
50 million questions.
About God.
About theology.
About His will.
About who I am,
and about who I am in God.
So, for the past couple of years,
I've been praying,
praying desperately,
for God to send me someone.
Someone who knows
what it is to long to burn
for Him.
Someone who wants to set our community
on FIRE.
Someone who understands
that I have doubts
and questions
and weaknesses
that I want to overcome.
Someone who can help me answer my questions.
Someone who can help me when I'm struggling,
and smack me in the face when I'm not where I'm supposed to be.
Someone who hungers for knowledge,
and truth,
and passion,
and GOD.
For the past two years,
I've gone to a church
with an interim youth pastor.
He didn't talk to me.
But that was fine.
He was just for now.
Soon we would get a real youth pastor.
He would talk to me.
He would help me.
We have a new youth pastor.
He doesn't talk to me.
Doesn't appear to have any interest in getting to know me.
Or anyone.

I'm still praying.
that God will send me

That God will send me someone
that He will make it
so that He
is enough.

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