Walls fall to the ground

The other night
I was in bed
listening to music
just like I've done
a million times before.

My mp3 player
is on random
just as it's been
a million times before.

"Beloved"
plays
just like it has
a million times before.

I brush it off
with "that's not me,"
just like I've done
a million times before.

"Times"
plays
just like it has
a million times before.

And
for the first time ever,
I hear it.

The excuses,
the tears,
the walls
fall down.

I'm kneeling
next to my bed
sobbing
and opening myself
to Him
and becoming
utterly broken
and wondering
why
God
would love
me.

But the why doesn't matter.
Because He does.